There seems to be no escape from stressful people these days. In our busy and interactive world, we’re connected all the time, which often puts us in connection with people who just seem to make us CRAZY. Spend any time on social media or watching the news during election season, and you’re likely to feel stressed out as a result of all the varying and sometimes volatile opinions. At work, there’s always that one person who rubs you the wrong way, and yet you can’t escape if you want to keep your job (but what about your sanity?). Even in families, there are people who we struggle to deal with in a productive way. And let’s face it, it’s always their fault!
Most people don’t actually set out to ruin anyone else’s day. They’re just going about their business, doing their own thing, and acting naturally for them. However, we all have invisible triggers. Often we don’t even know they exist until some person comes along and activates it. We get cut off in traffic. Our co-worker interrupts us – again. Our spouse forgets to pay the electricity bill. And boom – we’re triggered.
Like with any stress, our body goes into fight or flight mode. And what do we usually do? We blow up, hold it in, or resort to snarky retorts. Unfortunately, this doesn’t really process out the stress because it doesn’t deal with the trigger at hand. Plus, we’re secretly (or not-so-secretly) still blaming the person who we feel started it in the first place.
So what’s the answer??
Well, we all know it’s not easy to make people to change. No witty meme has ever changed someone’s political beliefs. Snarky comments rarely make spouses or children more motivated to get something done. And we’ll probably never again see that person who clearly drives like a life-endangering maniac.
The difficult truth is that the only real control we have in situations with most stressful people is to change how WE handle the situation. As much as we feel like the stressful people are that way because of some deficit in their character, our only recourse is to evaluate our own triggers and then to set clear personal boundaries.
Boundaries are an area where many of us struggle. Many of us are kind, giving, conflict-avoiders and being crystal clear about what we will and will not accept from other people can be difficult (myself included). If we even set boundaries, choosing how to react in a healthy way when someone violates them is often difficult because it’s a skill that takes practice to learn.
But what if there was a tool that would prevent some of those stressful people from ever approaching you in the first place? There is, and it involves working with your own energetic boundaries.
Really, setting boundaries is all about personal energy anyway. Here’s an example. Years ago when I was single, I liked to go out with other single girlfriends. Sometimes, I was open to meeting potential dates and other nights I was just wanted to get out and enjoy a night with friends. I started to notice that when I projected an energy of being open, men approached me. And when I wasn’t feeling it, they didn’t approach (well most of the time….there’s always that one guy who ignore all the signs). This was long before I started doing energy work but I recognized that I could turn my energy on and off like a neon sign. I actually started to visualize a sign above my head when I went out that energetically projected my intentions for the evening.
Setting boundaries to ward off stressful people is like holding a neon sign above your head that says “I’m not open to stress.” When we have a daily practice to energetically protect ourselves from the energies of other people, we create an invisible bubble around us that helps to prevent much of the interpersonal stress that gets our triggers going.
And who doesn’t want less stress?
In my upcoming program, “Simple Self Healing,” we’ll explore boundaries in more depth. We’ll practice how to create and use your energetic bubble on a daily basis to form strong boundaries and ward off unwanted energies. We’ll discuss how you can cut cords with people who are too embedded in your energy to be repelled just by a bubble. And we’ll review a variety of additional techniques to help you shield yourself and strengthen your boundaries.
Are you ready to deal with those stressful people in your life more effectively? Then join me on
Love and light,
For more inspiration, visit my original blog.